During the busy school year, I find myself swamped! Between school, work, and extracurriculars, free time is nonexistent for me nine months out of the year. Consequently, I rarely have time to cozy up with a good book. But this Christmas break, I was finally able to relax and indulge in an enchanting, wistful, and utterly consuming romance: If He Had Been with Me by Laura Nowlin.

The novel is told from the perspective of Autumn, a spunky, erratic teenage girl, as she maneuvers through four years of high school and fights feelings for her mom’s best friend’s son, Finny. Autumn and Finny were inseparable as kids but grew apart as they got older. Now, they belong to different friend groups and are both dating other people. Their few interactions are filled with awkward silences and stiff pleasantries.

Despite their strained relationship, Autumn realizes she has feelings for Finny when he almost gets hurt at his soccer game. She tries to ignore her crush on him because she’s content with her current boyfriend and scared her feelings for Finny will be unrequited. But when her boyfriend suddenly dumps her after graduation, leaving her heartbroken, Finny swoops in to comfort her. 

From the first page to the very last, I was immersed in this book! I was rooting for Autumn and Finny from the very beginning, and I was thrilled when they finally got together. However, just as I was celebrating their happy ending, Laura Nowlin did something that left me completely devastated. 

If He Had Been with Me was more than just a tale of love and coming of age; it taught a valuable lesson of finding the courage to speak your truth because you never know how much time you have left with a person. If you like emotive, enthralling love stories, or maybe you’re just in the mood for a good cry, you should check out If He Had Been with Me. I promise you won’t be disappointed.